Sunday, December 29, 2019
Five everyday practices to boost your confidence
Five everyday practices to boost your confidenceFive everyday practices to boost your confidenceI often bristle at people who say women lack confidence in the workplace. Part me thinks its a thinly-veiled form of victim-shaming that puts all the blame of our patriarchal systems and structures on women themselves.But theres no denying it being seen as someone who feels confident in their own skin is a big part of managing your image. And while theres nothing wrong with being doubtful, too much self-doubt can hinder your ability to take risks, try new things, and grow.So if cultivating confidence is something youre working on now, here are 5 easy steps to departure1. PrepareAs Brad the boo always says, practice how you want to play.Nobody is born feeling confident in their innate abilities. We all have to work hard to hone our craft, whether its public speaking, programming, or leading a team. So when youre feeling that nervousness that comes with rising to the occasion and trying some thing new, the more hours you spend practicing and preparing, the more confident youre going to feel when its game time.Ive spent the last 5 years really honing my craft asa public speaker, and it truly doesnt look all that glamourous. Most of the time its just me, pacing back and forth, alone in my hotel room, standing in front of a mirror, and recording myself speaking. Then Ill play back the tape, listen and watch for whats working, and try again while eliminating what wasnt.Set aside dedicated time for focused preparation and youll feel so much more confident in whatever youre tackling next.2. Phone a friendI was recently brought in to help a national firm with sexual harassment training. Now Ive done a lot of training and development focused on gender at work in the past, but this particular subject matter was a stretch opportunity for me. So instead of subscribing to that fake it till you make it approach, that can sometimes leave you feeling a bit out of your league, I brough t in a trusted friend, and fellow training and development expert.Its not only better for me, but its in the best interest of my client to bring another persons experience and background into this particular project.When youre expanding your own skillset, it doesnt hurt to bring in some outside reinforcement. Butyouhave to take the initiative to seek out that kind of support. Whether its a phone call to a friend or colleague whos been around the block before, or a more formal partnership with some one who can help deliver on your objectives, its important to remember we dont need to go it alone.And sometimes its as simple a phoning a friend for the pep talk you need to recognize that you already have what you need within you.3. Dress the partI used to be a bit fashion agnostic. I would rather focus on the substance of what Im doing, Id argue, than the style with which Im doing it. But I was missing the point of dressing up. Its not so much for others, but looking put together is mor e about how you feel about yourself.I recently sat down with one of our Bossed Up Trainer Team members, Tiffany Ingram of thePolicy Fashion blogto talk throughhow to dress for work this themaon the Bossed Up blog. She reminded me that looking your best can help you feel your best, too.When Im having an off day, changing out of my yoga pants for a more polished and professional look gives me a boost of swagger that helps me bring my A-game to whatever the day calls for.4. Power poseSimilarly, how I carry myself matters, too. Amy Cuddy pioneered research around power posesthat shows people feel more confident when theyre in an expansive body position. Sitting or standing tall, with your shoulders back and chin held high not only makes others see you as more powerful, it can makeyousee you as more powerful, too.On the contrary, more closed-in, constricted body positions can leave you feeling less confident. Now this is a major when we think about how gender affects body position, too. As little girls, if were conditioned to shrink ourselves, cross our legs, and keep our hands folded in on ourselves, were feeding into a stereotype about femininity and powerlessness.Take up more space, and ironically, youll start to feel more entitled to that space, too. So before your next big meeting, presentation, or interview, assume a high-power body position for at least 2 minutes (preferably in front of a mirror), and youll walk in with an extra kick of confidence.5. Brainstorm a brag sheetWhen youre feeling anxious and unsure of yourself, a million reasonswhy yourenotcut out for the task at hand might be flooding through your mind.Ive never done this before.Im such a fraudIm not qualified.Take control over the voice in your head by focusing instead on the reasons why youareequipped to give this a try.Ive been working on this project more closely than anyoneIm setting aside time to figure this out.Im the only here with an MBA.Whatever it is, take control of the narrative in your head, starting with brainstorming a brag sheet listing out your past achievements and strongest characteristics. In other words, its about focusing your attention on the reasons why youre awesome, capable, and can totally handle curveballs that will come your way.Now if youre feeling so self-conscious that even beginning this kind of an exercise feels impossible, enlist the support of your friends and colleagues, who might be even better able to remind you of your strengths. Once youve got them written out, refer back to your brag sheet whenever youre feeling out of your league to remind you of how far youve come already.This article first appeared on Bossed Up.
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